The year has started off with good footing.... but that is it. I am bracing and gathering and searching. There is a pressure now. I am fighting for change but there is pressure. Resistance, and things being thrown at us. I can do nothing. Our septic field is breaking down (which is major expensive and major to all the tasks that mom has to do in a day), our neighbor had a breakdown at our dogs, threatening me and standing between my kids and myself, and the Explorer is breaking down bringing a large expense as well. This is all physical but I know it is more too. There is also a challenging of ethics, morals, beliefs. That is nothing all new but still adding to the frustration. Things are lining up in ways, and other parts are being pushed.
Our Pastor talked about "watches" a few Sundays ago. About stepping out of the boat. I love third watch. The time where you cuddle babes. The time where you pray in deep quiet. But there is that fourth watch. It is dark. It is too late to rest and too early to get up. It's frustrating and tiring.
God must be doing something. I pray and hope that he is up to something. Maybe just a wake-up call. Maybe a bright dawn.
A friend sent a note too:
Psalm 121: 1-2
I lift my eyes up to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
I like verse three too....
He will not let your foot slip- he who watches over you will not slumber.
That ties in well to my thoughts. That is all from autopilotville.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
We hug forward.
I am starting off the year with a blank page. A clean schedule. I have put off all programs and am focusing in on family. In specific, I want to encircle my husband. I want to do more as a family unit. We have been doing too much and for good, but it is interfering with what God has been asking of me in the past few months.
I still feel that you should do as you have been called to, asked of, according to your giftings (*check Romans 12:1-8). Doing otherwise feels oppressive to me and takes away from the places where I should be serving. I have felt the consequence to that in the last few months, but I rode it out anyways. An old lesson for me. I have no problem standing for what I believe in general, but when sharpened by another believer I find it hard. When this is from leadership it is even harder. Listening to man, when I know God's voice.
Even though the year ended a little rough, I have felt a release now. It is like God was waiting for me until I did what I was supposed to do. The patience of a Savior, not bound by time. Even the book I was reading was not settling in, just words on a page. Now there is a shifting in this household.
This year was great. A year of building up of faith. Many prayers answered surrounding my life and others close to me. We started to homeschool this year; a fulfilling task with much reward. We learned how to take stewardship of our money in a better way. I got to see old friends back home and have rest. My youngest turned three- the year of understanding consequence and this means being able to do more as a family. We also started a conversation about adoption so we will see where that goes.
I am going into this year with a feeling of changed focus. The last few have been about rebuilding myself. This year feels like it will be about building up of family.... focusing in, encircling.
I still feel that you should do as you have been called to, asked of, according to your giftings (*check Romans 12:1-8). Doing otherwise feels oppressive to me and takes away from the places where I should be serving. I have felt the consequence to that in the last few months, but I rode it out anyways. An old lesson for me. I have no problem standing for what I believe in general, but when sharpened by another believer I find it hard. When this is from leadership it is even harder. Listening to man, when I know God's voice.
Even though the year ended a little rough, I have felt a release now. It is like God was waiting for me until I did what I was supposed to do. The patience of a Savior, not bound by time. Even the book I was reading was not settling in, just words on a page. Now there is a shifting in this household.
This year was great. A year of building up of faith. Many prayers answered surrounding my life and others close to me. We started to homeschool this year; a fulfilling task with much reward. We learned how to take stewardship of our money in a better way. I got to see old friends back home and have rest. My youngest turned three- the year of understanding consequence and this means being able to do more as a family. We also started a conversation about adoption so we will see where that goes.
I am going into this year with a feeling of changed focus. The last few have been about rebuilding myself. This year feels like it will be about building up of family.... focusing in, encircling.
A painting. The start to a family picture wall that I am working on. I want to intermingle words of truth, promise, and scripture, surrounding pics of my family. Reminders and focus.
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