inner turmoil

I feel like God is asking me to do something extraordinary. I don't want to misunderstand. I don't want to be naive. But, it keeps coming back to this. I feel like I have only one person to talk to about this even because it is not the "norm." I don't even know how to go about it or what will happen but I know that there are things planned beyond what I can imagine, from the heart of my God.
I don't know anything hard that God moves in until you take the first step. He woos but he does not push. When you finally step it is like a wind surrounding, beginning a movement bigger than yourself. I have seen huge things done, heart prayers answered, looking back in retrospect.
And then scripture echoes the same. A call and a decision. Those who walked past the hard moment did great, magnificent things. Those who said no and hardened their hearts, were passed by and God used somebody else for his glory and plan.
So it keeps coming back to this. I am trying to plan it in my human head but that brings delay, hesitation. A conversation needs to happen. I know this will bring a storm of talk and discouragement but God keeps bringing me back to this place. I listen to him first. I do hate the downheartening that comes from those words though. And today, I was reminded of a past time that attests to my heart prayers. I think this step will answer them all and bring me into obedience of a truth overlooked often. I am not ready.... but God is calling....