??

No matter what happens, God is changing things in me. I am seeing the start from the beginning and not in increments... God's plan for us.... our faith walk.... our womanhood.... I am thinking that he may restore some really old things in my heart..... really old. Things that got torn out of my hands little, then older, then finished off as an adult. Put to death. I was not one to try again. I just walked out of the pain and never looked back. In all aspects. I learned to duck, and then avoid before the swing came (not literally, don't worry, but in a figurative sense).
These things are about children. Mine. Someone elses. I can't see this in full yet. I don't know what is going on. I am so frustrated. This is not a normal place for me. Frustration that is. I can fix it, pray it, something it usually. But I do have thoughts about a time when it was different.
We will see. God doesn't start something for nothing.