A boring introduction.

My husband is sending me away. I am heading north to one of my fave places, Aunty Diane's house, who I don't ever really call aunty actually unless I am talking to the kids, and alot of the times call mom. I can't wait to see old friends and just rest. I need a rest. I haven't had one.... ever. Well, since I had kids. I am never away for more than a few hours, other than one night away with my husband quite awhile ago. I am tired. I am so tired that my body hurts no matter how much sleep I get. Five pregnancies in four years and three kids later, I am done in. Keiran turns three on Tuesday, and on Wednesday I am praying for safe travels and for peace.
I am also praying that this is a God appointment. I have been in the middle of chaos for far too long. I can't talk myself out of it or will myself to change. I am impatient most of the time and this is partly because I am tired and in pain. It took me a week to convince myself that I can do this alone. I need to start doing this more often. I need recharge and I feel like no one gets that. I am always asked how long I will be or can I go here and there. I need a moment to not think about tasks and more moments to rest. I also need some care. I need people to lift me up and I don't think that is selfish- I will surely give it back too. I need God to work some change and give some perspective while I am away, both to me and my husband. I want to find that patience so that I can build up my home; build up my little ones, and bring in some more maybe. I am feeling restless and I want to force some change.
This year is a faith building year, as I have said before. It is good- straight from God. I am at a standstill and waiting to move. Struggle only means I am striving for more. Even in this silent lull, I know God is working a plan. If I look around I see too much to deal with but if I look back even to the beginning of this year, I see how much He has done. I do not believe that he will let this year fade out. One month to go.