Friday, July 19, 2013

Frustrations.

This has been a long week. I am exhausted. It is too hot to cook dinner and my kids are running wild, screaming, while their dad tries to sleep. I am sitting here in the basement, trying to cool down before I make dinner. Unfortunately dinner is not an option with growing children. I have been a little down. Tiredness and reflecting on life can be disappointing sometimes. Being on opposite sides of faith with your husband, and pregnant and unable to do all you want to accomplish can make overlooked frustration come to the forefront. I am grateful that I can strive for all that encompasses a life lived for God, but this can also make a gap with us.... thoughts, friends, time, discipline, money.... everything. I am so in this time of grinding down this week. I feel oppressed in my own home sometimes. It is like anything good brings pressure. A war of sorts. I am so tired of this war. I want to continue in trusting God with my family (and I will) but I am tired. I hope God has a great plan.... that is silly, of course he does. I hope it has to do with a change of hearts around here, and soon. And I mean my heart too. Too much opposition brings walls. I just want to settle in with a house full of children and be in a peaceful and content place. To love and be loved. Excuse me while I go tend to something being sprayed all over the bathroom floor..... sigh.....

Sunday, July 7, 2013

A pic is worth a thousand joys....





 

And my eldest son echoes something I have said.... "God has a plan for us...." ....:) 



Sunday

I am inspired, encouraged, on this great, slightly rainy day. It is hard to get up and think of driving into town every Sunday for church but it is so worth it. Inspired truth being taught outrightly, is relieving, and resounds with me. Sticks with me. I am writing it down as I don't want to forget what God is saying to me personally and continually. And today I am grateful again and also grateful that I was, at one point, beaten down so much that it seems the religion was beaten out of me until nothing was left but grace. It is when consequences force an unseen, but unfortunately chosen, humility upon you that you can't pretend perfection. You can't compare against others. You can, I can, only compare against the truth that is in God's word. There is no measuring up. But there is an abundance of grace. Ye-haw. *Smile. Today I am reminded of this. I was broken of my own doing and yet there was hope. I need to extend that grace and never forget. And never feel condemned either. I am not cast out. I am still here and still fighting.... and still growing. When I get caught up in the day, I feel discouraged, but when I look at how much God has done, I am reminded....
Oh, and I am super excited for my coming babe. Another boy. I am building an army. Haha. The thought of having three grown men in my midst someday brings me an abundance of joy, and I know that God is going to change our family in amazing ways. I can't believe (in a good way) that it is getting better and I am getting the desires of my heart- a large family.
So many thoughts.... so many at a heart level..... <3