Nine month ultrasound.

It's ultrasound day! Today may determine what will happen for delivery of this babe. The doctor thinks he might have turned head-down now. I think he might have turned back the other night. I swear last night he was sideways.... he has too much room and is a strong little guy. I can't wait to see what happens and to cross the finish line. 

the month of nine.

I am getting so close! I am supposed to have over three weeks left but will I really go that far? I have had long false labor in the past. I dunno. The last few days have been full of painful braxton hicks and false labor at night. I dropped over a week ago and am now feeling the pinching feeling in my pelvis as I think the baby is engaging. The doctor thinks that this babe has now turned but an ultrasound on Monday will tell for sure. I just want to make it through another week so I am assured that all is in the right position and ready to go. I think that there should be a birth retreat place where you can go when you are close to being done so that you can relax and rest and then be there already when labor starts. Someone should get on that idea.
Last night at 3AM this strong little boy was moving around so hard, I felt like I was holding him in and was praying for another day. I swear he is going to kick his water free at any moment when he does that. I am so excited to meet him. I am also so excited to have the pressure off my body. I am cleaning through each room in my head and am now nesting. Eeek. I love just diving into pregnancy at the exciting beginning, even though the first part comes with sickness and the last with pressure; both a little torturous. It is always so worth it in the end. It is October! I hope I have a babe in my arms by the end of this month- sooner preferably :)   

Time.

Yesterday was Wednesday. Wednesday is turn over day in my pregnancy. That means I hit 35 weeks. I have felt ahead this pregnancy and so I have been pushing the counting a bit too. We went to the library yesterday and as I got out of the van, I realized it was Wednesday and it hit me... I am going on to the four countdown!! As in, today I am now 4.6 weeks away from being due to have this baby. Ahhh. I had a nap in the afternoon and woke up shaking a bit. I really hope that I can curb the anxiety. My body is now showing signs of getting ready to deliver. It is weird that when I was due with my first babe, I was excited and a little apprehensive of course. With all preceding children, it is a shaky nervousness. I always can remember the feeling of the baby crowning which is a spot of relief for me but the thought of waking up in a puddle of water and then it being game on makes me overwhelmed. I may still have four to five weeks left. I don't think so though. And this baby has not turned yet and is breech, so add on that thought to the unexpected. I like that all of my labors have been basically the same so that I know what to expect. Now there are numerous scenarios that I just have to wait for. I trust that my God began this and will finish it well. I am still freaking over the thought of labor. It is always worth it. I can't wait to meet this new child of mine. I am still freaking out. Four weeks! 

A pic is worth a thousand joys....

 

And my eldest son echoes something I have said.... "God has a plan for us...." ....:) 

Sunday

I am inspired, encouraged, on this great, slightly rainy day. It is hard to get up and think of driving into town every Sunday for church but it is so worth it. Inspired truth being taught outrightly, is relieving, and resounds with me. Sticks with me. I am writing it down as I don't want to forget what God is saying to me personally and continually. And today I am grateful again and also grateful that I was, at one point, beaten down so much that it seems the religion was beaten out of me until nothing was left but grace. It is when consequences force an unseen, but unfortunately chosen, humility upon you that you can't pretend perfection. You can't compare against others. You can, I can, only compare against the truth that is in God's word. There is no measuring up. But there is an abundance of grace. Ye-haw. *Smile. Today I am reminded of this. I was broken of my own doing and yet there was hope. I need to extend that grace and never forget. And never feel condemned either. I am not cast out. I am still here and still fighting.... and still growing. When I get caught up in the day, I feel discouraged, but when I look at how much God has done, I am reminded....
Oh, and I am super excited for my coming babe. Another boy. I am building an army. Haha. The thought of having three grown men in my midst someday brings me an abundance of joy, and I know that God is going to change our family in amazing ways. I can't believe (in a good way) that it is getting better and I am getting the desires of my heart- a large family.
So many thoughts.... so many at a heart level..... <3

Of six.

I am a mother of six. It is funny that before I was pregnant I always imagined myself with five kids and I wondered if it was because I really did have five, just two removed from me. That was it, because now I see myself with six. I had my five month ultrasound today and was blessed with a disk containing 39 photos of my babe. I dislike ultrasounds. I love when they are all done and everything is settled but I really can't bare to look at the technician for fear of misreading a look or facial expression. I am not liking that I have to wait a whole month now to see the doc, as my last appointment was yesterday. But this baby is kicking and moving so I shall not let myself worry. I love that he or she is breech because it is interesting how every babe has their own way and own little personality even in the womb. God has plans for this babe, even from the beginning. And this is the first time that we will find out the gender of our sweet babe. It is stressing me out a bit, haha, but only because I am making myself wait. Hopefully we will plan a great gathering to make it even more fun. Half way through a busy week and glad another task is out of the way.