The ideal life.

I have ideas of what is an ideal life. An ideal house, an ideal place to live. It irritates no one more than it does me. It's like a dream that you can never catch. If only.... if only..... if only.... Ugh. All I want is a yard with a deck that my toddler age children can walk right out into, and play in the sun. Why is there always something that makes life just a little difficult.
Another ideal would be to have a spouse that sees things the way that you do. I am glad that I do not for the sake of worrying too much on my part, but it would be great to have a spouse that has the same faith beliefs. It is upsetting the balancing of my life. I want to soar above the issues and be encouraged and I seem to be dragged back to reality constantly. It is hard to live in a state of praise when the one you share everything with, cannot understand what that even means. It feels like a battle of souls. I am losing this one most days lately, at least to my standard. I am too tired. Physically it is all fine and dandy to leave things alone. Spiritually it is exhausting. And why would I let it go. If the one I love doesn't know something that I think is the most important thing in all of life, wouldn't I be unloving if I didn't want him to share in that. Not only this, but it is ultimately difficult when you add kids into the mix. I am trying to spur my kids on to live in faith. I can't do this alone. Everyone makes their own choices. In marriage the choices are unified.... or divided.
I know my husband was for me. I asked for him in characteristic and even appearance when I prayed for a man. I love him to no end. I hope that this faith issue resolves itself though. I am torn and therefore stuck. Stuck because I love and torn because it is not my decision to make.
So, here are the prayers of my heart. For a home that is comfortable in all areas. For an understanding of my faith in the one I love.