Kicked in the heart.

It is not a good day. I backtrack my words because they are too weary. Not for me, normal for me, but scary for you. I am chronically sad. I don't see a way out. I know my protector, redeemer, God but He is just and I am afraid I am going to be drug through the mud for awhile longer. Maybe forever. These are my consequences. Can't go back. I have lost so much. I feel like I am living my life like it is through glass, watching people I love but there is no sound. I am on the outside.