The house that God built.

The next thing that I need to have a breakthrough on is this sick stuff. My kids get fevers and I feel like I am drowning. I am so worried that there is something more that is wrong than just the flu and I worry that a fever left too long or missed, will send them in to seizure. I have grounds for this worry and that is the problem I think.
When my Aiden was a few months old I thought he had a bladder infection. There were signs and I told the doctor. It was dismissed. A while later I told another doctor and they said not to worry it wasn't common in boys. That Thanksgiving, he had a high fever and started to turn blue and had the tremors. This, according to my nurse friends, is when there is danger of seizing. We took him into emerg and he had a raging UTI just like I had thought. It took took two rounds of antibiotics in this poor four month old babe, and a few further tests. After that we left it alone on advice of the pediatrician that the illness had passed and the tests can be contaminated because they are little bags left on the babies until they go. He has been fine since.
When my Gemma was a year and a bit, she got really sick. We thought it was a combination of teething and the flu. After we had to take her into emerg, we found out she had a UTI. It has continued on and off. I worry that I am going to the doctor too much and I worry that I will leave it too long out of worrying that I am and therefore her infection gets worse. I don't like to use the urine bags because of the contamination so I sit and wait with a little cup under a two year that is not potty trained- for hours sometimes. She will probably just grow out of these bladder infections so I am trying to keep her clean and away from tests. I shower her only now and every night. Soon she'll be potty trained.
Anyways, my point is that I can't handle fevers. I don't handle them. I have talked about this alot but I am still looking for a way out. I can't get this sick-to-my-stomach feeling every time they are sick. A feeling of waiting for it to pass. I don't want to go to bed at night so I can watch over them. When this happens three times over (with three kids), and every two weeks over this seemingly long winter, I start to lose it. I know I can trust God to watch over my children. I need to learn balance and hope to cope in the mean time.
I grew up in a "what if" family too. Maybe that is part of my problem. I need to not explore all the risks and options. If I could just deal as it came, it wouldn't be so bad.  I need to have a breakthrough on the fact that I know what to do and if it gets bad God will come through like he has. How do I convince myself of this? If I lived by all the what-ifs, I would live in a padded house beside the hospital. Haha. Hey, they have one of those. *wink*
There's a thought. I just wrote the title and maybe that will be my hope for today. A house that God built. There are two angels guarding the doors of the kids bedrooms. The LORD will whisper and wake me when the kids start to get sick or run a fever. It happened last night. I woke at five am when the medicine wore off and Gemma's fever started to get high. Oh, stubborn soul, why can't you have faith. It is man that has failed you, not God. His anger only lasts a moment but his favor lasts forever...remember. This inward fight sucks. Just saying. If only I could see in full. I am going to think on the things that I can't see today..maybe that will help. Anyone want to add onto that, please do...verses welcome as well......