The grump.

I am in a mood. I feel like a crank. I'm grumpy. The kind of mood that makes a person feel like starting a fight. A grumpiness that makes someone not want to worry about anyone else's feelings. It is strange. I don't know fully where it is coming from. Something hit a nerve. Or bruised me. Something rubbed on an old bruise.... and it hurt. A friend that I went to college with used to rub our actual bruises- we hated it, it felt wrong, but she said it caused the blood to come to the surface and heal it faster. Maybe that is why we want to start a fight. We want to draw out the pain. Bring it to the surface. We want it to be gone.
I saw something out of place the other day. It bothered me. I summed it up to myself as "you are not the queen and don't need to know everything." But now it is closer. It brushed my arm. It hit a different nerve than the original instance. It is now bothering me more. One for selfish reasons. One for truth I think. The latter is not my business though. Maybe that is the part where I want to rub in the truth for my own purpose. But this is not really my heart. I want to encourage. I do not really want to start a fight.
And I am not perfect. I don't want someone egging on me about things that I already know, and am working on. I want words that are uplifting. An encouraging word will help keep me taking steps in the right direction. This rings true the other way as well. I hope that in wisdom, someone who loves me would be able to say, "Hold your step." Maybe that should be a code phrase...... "Hold your step, friend." Take a look at who you are stepping with, who you are taking along, and where you are going. Permissible? Beneficial? Uplifting or dragging someone down. And if you are going to rub a bruise, do it for healing, not just to start a fight.