ramblings

I feel like working some things out in my head. I have not late night posted since the great depression. Haha. That was a joke, if you didn't catch that. I just came from bible study. A new one with friends that are not so new. It was good. Teaching straight from the book with hebrew and cross referencing and all things I deem lovely. I want to know the word of God and truly study it. I want to then ponder what God is saying about it to me for right now. There was talk of hardening of hearts, and sowing. I said there would be sowing this afternoon.
I have lots of thoughts tonight. I want to fellowship with friends and family where I am at. Part of this new is where I am at. Looking parallel I see lacking of so much. If I had my choice in a city or elsewhere I would be gone. But I still live here. I will not sow where there is staleness. I try to bring something to the table but it is a strange table. Why do I think so differently. Yet, I don't think that my thoughts are way out there.
Anyways, I am not sure what to think about this all yet. I wish I had a different choice. But I am seeing a little clearer. It is too early to tell. I just know that I will not settle, I have never followed because it is the status quo. This is an essential time to instill truth to my kids and that is not happening the way I see is good. A little, but not quite. It is also essential that I am not beat to the ground so that I am drained of all encouragement, and that I am built up in a way that is helpful. And that I am not forced to be something that is out of my gifting. We all are parts- none greater right?Why are we looked at as though we are less than and little. I am not at all. My kids are not either. ......