I don't want to stand still.... I don't want to reach a point where I think that I am finally good enough. I don't want to reach the club status and stay there. The club where if you attain a certain standard, you are able to judge anyone who falls. The club, where there is an unspoken rule to never make a ripple in the waters. There is a guarded "niceness" that is not nice. Do not rebuke, do not preach a word that challenges someone to change, really. And most of all, do not exceed the norm. Do not attempt to change things for the next generation.... "We have always done things this way." Do not hear a word from God and speak it out..... "Who made you holier than though." Do not make a choice solely intended for God's purpose in your own life.... "You should get some training first."
I do not want to face condemnation, despair, discouragement, from other people who have been saved by grace and read the same bible that I do, when I have been inspired towards something, by God. I do not step lightly but in hope, with faith, and trusting that God will turn my heel if I am wrong. I wait on Him for a word, I weigh it, I wait for reassurance, confirmation. Please don't snuff out my light. Anyone's light. Rebuke if need be, but please, weigh your words with the truth. Ask why even. God does not have the same plans for all of us, except that they are plans for good and not harm. If you are causing harm, then you are stepping out of the plan..... Hm..... I will think on that one. A good reminder.
This is my vent.
By the way, I got into my bible study and feel much better. I am encouraged that God is in control. I have a hard time worrying over what discourages me and also being discouraged when others aren't on the same page of making a new path out. Sigh. More of God, less of me. (and this is an exact example of what I mean- I am tempted to erase this last sentence because it makes me look "too Christian." I say it because I mean it. The more God is in charge of my life, the less I fret. The more I see him answering prayer, building my faith. My soul knows it. I don't want to look like I am unreachable. Untouchable. In the club. And I don't want to seem flighty to other Christians.) Does anyone get what I mean? I want to show grace without judgement but also without tolerating staleness. Encouraging. I will stick with that word.
ReplyDeleteWow, you've done a lot of writing lately! I have some catching up to do :) I do get what you mean, and I too have felt that many times, but I'm beginning to learn how to be less concerned with what others think. It's difficult though. The fact is, the only opinion we really need to be concerned with is HIS. Regardless, we will encounter these people and have to learn to deal with them in love. Sometimes their opinions will be correct, and in those times we need to do some soul searching and ask the Lord if what they are seeing is something we may need to work on with him. That's tough to swallow, and our first instinct may be to take offence, but the answer lies in taking it to him, asking him, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23&24
ReplyDeleteI find it hardest when people are holding me back. I don't change my opinions based on what other people think but I do want input and encouragement if something is major and sometimes people's initial reaction is not pretty- like the do not ripple the water. I find it the most difficult though when I think that people are on the same page and have the same belief system and they say something that shocks me to think that is not true. I am trying to find the place where all people are people and God is head so that this doesn't happen as often;)
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