I think I might be....

I am having a hugely revelational and good day. I am on a high (a little manic) but it is seriously hopeful around here in my soul today. First off I am doing a study with my mom's group on Esther, or Hadassah (I love that name), by Beth Moore and I am loving it. Watching it and reading the devotionals, I am seeing myself and a whole bunch of my friends of whom I know their stories, and it is inspiring. Secondly, I think that I have come over the first mountain in my therapy. My therapist Michelle, who I have respect for and who doesn't talk down to me, has said that she is looking for the thread in my story. I am seeing it big time.
Now these two things collided in me this morning as I was driving, music blaring, snow glimmering. I had a realization that I am, all of a sudden, the woman who I had asked God that I could be when I was young. What the heck! I am almost balanced. I am almost confident in who I am. I am almost able to be strong in my beliefs and not hypocritical or judgemental. I am seeing where I have been and what that means to who I am. I am so grateful that I have stood by the fact that suffering brings perseverance, perseverance character, and character, hope. I am moved to tears on the inside. I wish I could see a sneak peek of where I'll be in another ten years....or even next year. I am excited for that.
Now I am not saying that I am a Proverbs woman. Well, maybe my version of one but |I am still struggling to be where I want. Besides, she probably had maidservants or sister wives helping her. I am not bragging. I am just amazed that I could be more than what I am. That I am getting somewhere. That I have had faith that I am where I am supposed to be and that God has plans for good and a future in my whole family. But now I am seeing the real tangible outcomes.....the answers to prayers....