swirly head

I have so much to get out but am stuck at the moment. Unable to organize my thoughts. Too much is going on all at once but I am not overwhelmed. I am just having times of mourning and times of processing, and times of remembering, and times of eye opening. I am dealing with this mourning, and then a friend commits suicide, and in the middle of it all I have been reading a book called Love Languages, by Garry Chapman. It has been so weird for me because all the things are intertwined right now. Every time I talk with my therapist, I then have a week of awakenment and all the details are dealing with my proccessing thoughts. I started to read this book as a way of better understanding my husband but it has also shown me things of my mother...and a little of my kids as well. It was like I saw my whole life and I fully understood why things were the way they were and are. Now this is no miracle book but I believe that God has brought me to a turning point. I can feel understood in understanding the way people react lovingly. I can see why certain things affect me deeply because they are the opposite of  the way I see love....and why certain things are so important. I see love where I felt nothing, or even hate and rejection. It is a relief really. It takes away some frustration.
If you don't want to pick this book up, I'll elaborate a little. It deals with the fact that people have one or two tendencies towards five specific love languages. These being; words of affirmation, quality time, touch, giving of gifts, and acts of service. If you think of the way you show love you will probably know yours. If you think of the way your significant other shows love, or the thing that they complain about the most even, you can probably guess theirs....I'll leave it at that. I  little bit lighter post but I am in transition and have no ranting in me. At least for the moment.