I am expecting a breakthrough on the issue of fear, anger, and impatience (which I am sure are all related), very soon in my life. I have prayed for it and I feel it coming. I will jump off the edge when God pushes me.
You have no idea how much I can relate to your posts, and it has really got me thinking about going for some personal counselling. I don't want to be an angry, impatient mom. And I'm so happy for you that you're reaching a breakthrough. I really want to be able to say I enjoyed these early years with my kids. My mom said as a young mom one day she was reading all her journal entries and realized they were all so depressing and dismal, and that wasn't what she wanted her kids to look back upon and read.... that got me thinking about my own journal and inner battles. I think being a mom is such a life altering event that we had NO IDEA how hard (emotionally, physically, mentally) it would be. Yes, the day to day 'tasks' seem so easy, but there is SO much more to being a parent than that, with dealing with our personal issues. If I only had to worry about the day to day stuff I would be fine! So thank you for your blog, and your honesty. It makes me like you more, and feel like I really know you. I just finished reading a 'friend's' blog who always writes about sunshine and roses and about how amazing her life, husband, and children are, and I was so turned off. I just want to shout "BE REAL!!" But maybe that is real. There have definitely been times in my life when it was great and I wasn't jaded....maybe she's one of the few.... ok, enough rambling! Keep em coming!
I can remember alot of bad things and I never remember talking about any of them...so I need to be honest and really get it out. Anyone could paint a picture of beautiful. I could. I could write about my gorgeous and very smart kids and the funny things that they say (and I was actually planning on putting one thing that Aiden said in a post today but I forgot until you said that...tangent). Lol. I do think it good to think on things that are pure and lovely but there is a time for mourning the dreams that have been stolen from you. I know for a fact that as I get closer to every person in my life, I see that everyone has something that is secret pain. Why should it be that way....
You have no idea how much I can relate to your posts, and it has really got me thinking about going for some personal counselling. I don't want to be an angry, impatient mom. And I'm so happy for you that you're reaching a breakthrough. I really want to be able to say I enjoyed these early years with my kids.
ReplyDeleteMy mom said as a young mom one day she was reading all her journal entries and realized they were all so depressing and dismal, and that wasn't what she wanted her kids to look back upon and read.... that got me thinking about my own journal and inner battles. I think being a mom is such a life altering event that we had NO IDEA how hard (emotionally, physically, mentally) it would be. Yes, the day to day 'tasks' seem so easy, but there is SO much more to being a parent than that, with dealing with our personal issues. If I only had to worry about the day to day stuff I would be fine! So thank you for your blog, and your honesty. It makes me like you more, and feel like I really know you. I just finished reading a 'friend's' blog who always writes about sunshine and roses and about how amazing her life, husband, and children are, and I was so turned off. I just want to shout "BE REAL!!" But maybe that is real. There have definitely been times in my life when it was great and I wasn't jaded....maybe she's one of the few.... ok, enough rambling! Keep em coming!
I can remember alot of bad things and I never remember talking about any of them...so I need to be honest and really get it out. Anyone could paint a picture of beautiful. I could. I could write about my gorgeous and very smart kids and the funny things that they say (and I was actually planning on putting one thing that Aiden said in a post today but I forgot until you said that...tangent). Lol. I do think it good to think on things that are pure and lovely but there is a time for mourning the dreams that have been stolen from you. I know for a fact that as I get closer to every person in my life, I see that everyone has something that is secret pain. Why should it be that way....
ReplyDelete