Sick babies, restless night.

My babe was sick last night. Started to cry in his bed and them I heard him throwing up everywhere. He came to our bed to sleep but I couldn't sleep. My little girl was also fevering in a toddler bed up against the wall. I hate these days. I think to myself that I never want any more kids because I can't bear the thought of them not being able to tell me what's wrong and suffering. It consumes me. I can't help it. I overcome and then I sleep so that it doesn't come back. My husband, who never snores, was snoring loudly and my little babe was snoring right in tune with him. It was rather sweet but the sounds wouldn't let me sleep.
I finally slept after hours but then had a horrible dream. I dreamt that someone had gotten into the house and I had to protect my boy. I was also trying to help my other babe and couldn't do both at the same time. I ran back to my boy and stood against the wall. He was out of the way and in the background. This dark, light eyed woman with a stocky build approached me spewing. I recognised her but was not sure where from. She grasped my shoulder and put out her fist. She was fear itself. She evenly came at me with her powerful arm straight to my heart. She was pushing and watching me straight on with intent to kill me. Just pressing my heart not suffocating just stopping its beating. Crushing me. It was painful and I was trapped. I knew I had to get out of her grasp for my children's sake.....
My dreams are always so meaningful to me. I was processing. I knew the front door had been left unlocked. I was trying to balance a sick babe and a feverish little girl. I was trapped in the tight fist of fear. It is painful. I do have to get away from it for my children's sake.