To live in the world but not of the world.... To raise a child up in the way he should go and when he is old he will not flee from it. I am torn. Again. I need to pray into this I think, I know rather. Pondering this in my own thoughts is not helping.
I never desired to homeschool my children, knowing that when a person has to be an example and has something to stand for, they will. I did. I was glad to be a Christian. I stood for something.
On the other side, there is so much that is tainted in the school system now. An imbalance of discipline. A twisted learning. I have been glad to have teachable moments for my son, but how much of the things that I don't catch/see will rub off on him and leave imprints. Ugh. I know where this is going but it circles back a bit every time too.
It reminds me of the study I did this morning. The King walked in the way of the LORD but did not remove the idol places, and so the people did not change. I feel a need and I think it is important, to be the first word in a child's learning. That God's word is the first word. That His truth abides. I also don't want to raise a child who is so overprotected that when he is sent out into the world later on, he is shocked, does not know how to make decisions because he hasn't been faced with any evils, and therefore is torn down to dust. It's a live and learn, make mistakes and be refined situation. This all is complicated.
In the study that I did before this one, I stopped watching television for awhile (a fast of sorts, a refocusing). I am now not wanting to watch much at all. I never used to. I hate that all this "it's only pretend" thinking lets anything into our minds, our thoughts, and chips away at our discernment. I am now taking on thoughts that this "fifteen minutes with God is all you need society" is damaging us. I do not have a problem with prayer and being prayerful throughout the day, but my study of the LIVING word of God is short. I get alot out of it but the balance of what is influencing me of God, and what is influencing me of things that are contrary to God's word, is balancing on the side of evil. I feel the need for my input of Godly concepts and thoughts to weigh greater than my intake of worldly things. Is this an outrageous thought? I think not. It is very overwhelming though. How can I keep my head above water? How can I be set apart when our culture is so strong in what is contrary to what I believe? And, I don't want to be just barely above. I want to walking in faith, on the water. It's no wonder that it only takes one storm for me to feel like I am drowning. It makes me wonder what the society was like in Sodom and Gomorrah. Is our society one step away from that? Do our children even have a chance? I want them to have a chance. I want them to always know God. I want them to know the truth because the truth is part of their life and not just a story. (Sigh.) This is where I start to joke about living commune style where we have fresh vegetables and are not only set apart from the world but oblivious to it;)
Anyways, I don't know the answer, and I was hoping that it would become clear in writing this all out, but it still is not. Prayer, word searching, gathering of options. Here we go....
And furthermore, I was worried about my son getting enough socializing, however, there are now enough homeschooling kids that I wonder if a co-op of sorts could be set up so that they are fullfilled socially. Stayed tuned.... Haha.
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