Mish-mash on truth.

I am sad about losing friends. There are people in your life that mean so much and circumstance puts you on different continents. They were there for a reason. But then they fall to the side. There are those people that can endure distance and those that don't care to. I often feel guilty about this. I care about my friends and I want to stay connected. I am committed, even if far away. And I know that you can hold someone in your heart even if you are miles away. I call and then when I don't want to because I have no time and every time I get on the phone my kids get that smirk in their eyes- the smirk that says that they know you are busy and they don't like it one bit and you can't do anything about the chaos that follows. Then I want to phone but I hate phoning and then it's been forever. Why do I feel guilty. They didn't phone me. They didn't make an attempt at all. Sometimes you just have to let go. No I am not talking about you. Anyways, I am sorta mad about it tonight. I would like people to treat me with honesty, and yes sometimes I don't care to know so that I am not hurt, but please don't be fake with me. I think anyone would rather be broken up with than drug through the mud while they know in their hearts that you don't give a damn. Tell me like it is. I have many blunt friends and I like them. They'll tell you what they think. When you're an idiot. When you are being a jerk. When you are putting yourself down. They won't try to figure out what you want to hear and coddle your insecurity. I like those women, strong enough to deal with the consequences of truth spoken. There it is... the thought to ponder for the day. Ha ha. Am I a woman that can deal with the consequences of living truth out loud? Can I be honest? I think so but I need to think on that further. I hope so. Figure out my truths and then live honestly....I'll even give an example....
I lived with Garry before I was married. In fact, when I met him I didn't even want to think about marriage. I had had enough. I had decided though, that I would own my own bad decision and be committed to him rather than fool around and try and fool my family. I can deal with consequences no matter how horrible, and they were horrible. I am telling you this to say that I am no judgemental saint. Anyways....I have often heard people say that once you have lived together, slept together...that you are married in the eyes of God. This often left me thinking. Is that true. I get that thinking. We had a JP come when we actually did get married and we didn't have a wedding, we just signed the papers. Just made it legal. Common-law marriages are marriages by word definition and law so is this true. After pondering this, I found the scripture about the woman at the well. The one who was with a man that wouldn`t give her his name. Would this not be a woman in a commom-law marriage. It was still sin. Truth was still truth. She had to decide whether or not to ``go and sin no more``. I still chose the wrong choice but I took responsibility for the consequences. I was honest about it. Circumstances sucked and God knew my heart and still loved me, but the truth was still the same....and we all answer to those same truths in the end. I want to be someone who knows circumstances can alter decisions and everything isn`t drawn in the lines when it comes to life, but I still want to encourage truth. I am finally feeling like I am balancing my truths when it comes to life (not anxiety`s...those are a bit harder) and trying to live that out loud, without fear. Just honestly...just truly.