Tonight I am going to sit on my bed and pray for my friend. I feel vomit coming on.....poisonous, powerful, throwing up. I am sobbing enough that I can't see. I can't believe the lies she is being told. No wait, I can. I know them. I believed them too. I prayed the prayer of "God let me not want to die". I am scared for her. If she can just get to tomorrow she will be alright I think.
I will pray over her. Now even....what am I waiting for.
God, I pray for K. I pray that she will feel your presence overwhelming. I pray that she can be angry....sobbing.....falling apart and letting go...anything but feeling stuck, feeling like wanting to die. I pray for strength enough to go through what she has to go through. I pray for hope in turn with sorrow. I pray that she will know the truth that "suffering brings perseverance, perseverance character, and character, hope" And hope does not disappoint....hope does not abandon.....hope does not forget.....hope does not leave you in the rain to get cold, and to pretend there aren't tears, and to numb body parts.....hope believes all things.... Let her fathom the depths of her healing and give her a glimpse of the end. Give her a glimpse of the beginning...of ministering to a land where abandonment and abuse is prevalent....where she will know and understand and help others overcome... And then Lord, bring her back to you. To her. And let her let go. Let her be not okay. So that she can be okay. And cover her with support and shock her with people that will hold on to her for dear life.
Ugh. I have more prayers but I am going to my bed....soon.